Wednesday, April 20, 2011


We never have much of a break in the excitement round these parts.

I’ve been really enjoying not being trapped in some kind of weird alternate dimension thing. It’s a nice feeling, living in a reality not under an eldritch being’s complete control, not constantly seeing the setting change around you, and just being able to go outside and take a walk without anything too freaky happening.

It was on one of these walks when the events which I shall tell of occurred. I was on my way back to Setoth’s apartment, walking along a tree line on the edge of St. Edwards campus. It was a quite night out, all nice and calm.

And so I really wasn’t expecting someone to leap out of the trees and try to stab me. My attacker seemed to come out of nowhere; I didn’t have time to dodge, and only prevented myself from being killed by moving my forearm in the way of the blade. I’d rather get stabbed in the arm than have my neck cut open (although, to be honest, if I had the chance neither would happen to me). My attacker was using a sword with phosphorous paint over it, a hoodie (also with phosphorous paint, creating an operator symbol pattern), and a monster mask. He was also shouting something about how I was a monster he would destroy, or something. But when I saw that mask, it looked familiar. Not like anything I’d seen in real life, but like something from a website…. Maybe a blog post somewhere…..

That’s right, ladies and gents, everyone’s favorite ex-Sage, zerosage had decided to pay me a visit! I was so flattered. Me, being put on his hit list. The only sadness I felt then was from the knowledge that I would have to kill him, and thus be unable to read any more of his murderous adventures.

Upon throwing zerosage off me, I expressed my joy at seeing him, although he didn’t appear to share the same reaction. He said some cruel things to me, implying that Slendy was my master WHICH HE IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT. Zerosage continued to say these cruel things, such as “You fed willfully committed murder in his name….” as he got back up and ran at me. His swings with the sword were sloppy, lacking any real training; as such I easily was able to avoid them. I tried to throw in some witty retorts, but as a result of spending more attention on being humorous than on my surroundings, which caused me to trip on some uneven ground. Zerosage did not put this opportunity to waste, and jumped on me. In the ensuing brawl, I attempted to bash in his nose with the hilt of my sword, but the mask made this difficult. My blows caused the mask to shift slightly, giving me a look at his eyes. He was crying.

What are you supposed to do when the person trying to kill you is crying? It was such an odd, out of place sight, that for a few seconds I was in shock. Zerosage trying to press his sword down on my throat snapped me out of that. He kept repeating, “Forgive me.” Unfortunately for him, I am not the most forgiving of people, so instead I bit his wrist. That gave me the chance to throw him off, and get back onto my feet. While zerosage was still on the ground, I swung my sword down at him, striking him in the head. Even without an edge, that blow should have been enough to end the fight, but zerosage grabbed my injured arm and said, “I cannot stop, no, damn you….” Then he started to pull on the arm, causing a significant amount of pain. Both of us attempted to punch the other in the face, which resulted in us once more on the ground in a brutal melee. Somehow zerosage was able to get his hands around my throat, and started strangling me. I tried to gouge out his eyes, but again the mask made if difficult. I was starting to black out when I finally made him let go. Then I kicked him in the ribs, knocking him on his back. He looked too broken to get up again, so I limped over to retrieve my sword (which had been knocked away at some point in the chaos), and walk back over to zerosage.

Arkady: “This has been fun and all zerosage, but I think now's a good stopping point.”

Zerosage: “And when will...he? Stop?”

Arkady: “Good question. I'll ask him that next time I see him.”

Once more, I swung at his head, and connected with a crack. Only this time, he grabbed onto my sword. Zerosage shouted at me, “You…. Damn fool…. You...will not ask him...anything ever again!” And then he pulled out a taser and shot me in the arm with it.

And that was how I ended up lying on the ground in a twitching mess, while zerosage drew a serrated knife and stood over my defenseless body. His mask had almost completely fallen off, letting me see the tears running down his face, mixing with the blood from his wounds. He kept saying “Forgive me, oh god forgive me” over and over and over and over. Then he started cutting my forearm with that knife. They weren’t violent cuts intended to wound; instead they were almost surgical, carving around the bone. Although at the time, I was more focused on him cutting apart my arm than anything else, even if I couldn’t do anything about it.

Before he finished cutting, a shriek echoed around us. I saw a sudden blur of motion barreling towards zerosage. A human figure tackled zerosage, knocking him off me. It was a very distinct figure, one which I had seen several times before. Porfiry. Or, at least what was left of him.

Zerosage and the moving corpse’s fight quickly took them out of sight. I was still on the ground, unable to move, and know bleeding pretty badly from my arm. But then I heard footsteps behind me. From my position on the ground, I could just barely see the person in my peripherals. All I made out was a pair of black boots, the bottom half of a black police uniform, and a long black coat. Lots of black there.

As soon as he spoke, I instantly recognized the voice. Not like I could ever forget it.

“Porfiry’s last stand.” Javert said. “Even with His power supporting the body, Porfiry won’t be able to survive this fight. It’s such a sad thing, giving his life to save someone such as you. Someone who has completely rejected His offering of salvation. Honestly, I think He wouldn’t have minded had you died here. After your refusal of His will, there has no longer been the compulsion for us to keep you alive for the sake of bringing you into the fold. However….”

He was silent for a while, during which time I continued to be bleeding and unable to move.

“I still have yet to see you receive the justice which you deserve. I cannot have you die until I have made you suffer at my hands, in punishment for your sins.”

Then he just walked off. After I regained control of my muscles, I crawled/limped back to Setoth’s apartment, where I was able to stop the bleeding. Even so, it’s going to be hard to do anything with my left arm for a while.

On the morning news, the police found a body floating in Town Lake. They couldn’t identify it, but unless someone else is running around using phosphorous paint on their cutting tools, it was likely Porfiry’s. The remains looked like they had been run through a meat grinder; not even the bones were left unbroken. Javert was right about one thing. This time, I don’t think Porfiry is coming back.

But in spite of him killing Porfiry before I could, and very badly hurting my arm, I had fun with this whole thing. We should do it again sometimes.



  1. Ah yes, I'd forgotten to ask where the bruises and cuts came from. By the ways, I'm having company over later tonight so I suggest moving into the room mate's bed room tonight. He's leaving for Easter break (ahhh, the perks of living in a Catholic university).

    Unless, of course, you want to join us. That option's always available ;)

    Love Under Will

  2. thisisgoodnews.
    Toobadyoudidnotkillthe buTch=er, but thEre are aLwways opPorttuNitieS.

  3. Do it again? Why, I'd love to, Arkady. In fact, I am on my way at this very moment. Shall we set a time and place?

    Also, it comforts me to know that I am not the only one with sense enough to see how vile of a person you are. Even if it is, of all people, the fallen sage.

  4. tThe onLy difFeren=ce bETween zerRosage and ArkAdy isthatzerohas Kil9led more pEOple,but pRovVides fAlse jUSTifi=cation forit.

    thERe isnoevil,Hyde,only madMEn, andyouareoneofthem.

  5. @Setoth: I think I'll pass. There's really only one type of human contact I'm currently interested in, and unless you're fine with cleaning blood off the walls and floor, I doubt you'd want to go along.

    @Hyde: Aww, really? The anticipation is making butterflies in my stomach! Oh, what should I wear.....

  6. Awww. Cute. Javert really DOES care about you Arky. Maybe your April Fools post was closer to reality than you think.

  7. Why, whatever you think is appropriate, Mr. Svidrigailov. Though keep in mind that our activities will probably include exercise of some form or another. As much as I would appreciate the sentiment, a suit would be ill-advised.

    Where shall I meet you? Oh, and I would prefer if our little "date" were a more intimate moment. I shall come alone if you do likewise.

    And my goodness, Mr. Glass Man, I half-expect your alias to become "The Straw Man!" It takes a true man to realize his hypocrisy, which I do. Zero and Arkady are not so different. The fallen sage is misguided, yes, but at least he believes he has a cause. Mr. Svidrigailov is downright sociopathic. And Zero has killed more than Arkady? Now, I admit that mathematics are not my forte, but I believe that Zero has killed, at most, five. Arkady has killed far more frequently than that, and has never felt remorse. At least Zero clings to his humanity.

    And you think that I'm mad? Perhaps you're right. Perhaps you are not. But even if I am, I cannot help but laugh at being called a madman by one who lacks the sanity to even construct a legible sentence.

    But back to you, Arkady. Your time is running out. You have nowhere left to Hyde.

    I look forward to seeing you soon.

  8. I never thought my lack of knowledge of Austin's date locations would hinder me this much!

    Perhaps somewhere along Town Lake? By the statue of Stevie Ray Vaughan? (Yes, we have such a statue. Austin is an interesting place.)

  9. Analysis: upload commencing. Upload complete. Analysis:

    Subject: Arkady Svidrigailov. Status: Semi-stable. Abilities: Moderate. Emotional status: Strong. Threat level: Moderate. Intelligence level: Low to moderate. Potential: High. Danger: High.

  10. Analysis: upload commencing. Upload complete. Analysis:

    Subject: Javert. Status: Unstable. Abilities: Moderate. Emotional status: Strong. Threat level: High. Intelligence level: Moderate. Potential: High. Danger: High.

  11. Hmm, Arkady, it seems you have a '51.2% chance of survival,' against the Slender One in its current form...

  12. I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm just reading this. I thought Z-Sage would simmer down.

  13. zeROsage is a killEr.
    ArkAdy isaonetime mUrdErer with muLTiple countS of mANslaUghter.

    IknowwhatsideI'mon, NoLand.
    Do you?

  14. @Glassman: Some of us are here to watch & trip the unwary.